TEEN BEHAVIOR - BUILD RAPPORT

Some of you might have just turned into full time policemen or policemen on duty 24x7 to monitor your children who have just entered their teens or maybe well in their teens! It definitely seems like an endless cat and mouse battle for those of you that have to deal with teenagers. There should be a sensible way of dealing with them, right? Sure there is. Read on.

Parents bring out all their harshness during this adolescent period of children. Primarily because the teens take everything casually and undermine consequences of everything the parent says. Parents apply restrictive consequences but what ultimately happens is that the teen evades or runs away. Now both parents and teen go out of control!

Firstly remember, harsh and restrictive consequences will not bring teens “under control”. They will make them more repulsive instead. You have to practice rebuilding strategies that can rekindle the relationship with your child. This way, you will have greater influence to provide good guidance and support.

Start off by participating in your child's activities. Go out of your way to reach out to them and give them a positive comment on something that they are doing. If you are already in a spiral of negativity, these small gestures of positive comments, pat on the back and your interest in their activities will kindle the relationship rebuilding process. Make spontaneous, surprise gestures of goodness - for example, while chauffeuring your teen stop by for a donut or some fries. You can share a happy moment together full of laughter and joy.

When your teen displays unacceptable behavior, express your disapproval and walk away. You have to control your ways before wanting to control your child!|s. So express your disapproval and move away so that the child can think about his/her behavior rather than be offended. The teen may not internalize learning on the first occasion. Reinforce the behavior as not acceptable if he/she displays it again. This time, it will most certainly get the teen to understand. Do not just say "you're wrong". Explain why that particular action was not appropriate and is "wrong". Explain the impact of that action on others and self.

If the matter is more serious - like drugs or alcohol, try and discuss your concerns with your ward. Else, fix an appointment with the school counselor to address these issues. If the child is violent, then try as much as you can to deal with it calmly. If it gets overboard, say you will call the police.

You have to work on ways to build the relationship with your teen, such that he/she feels like confronting in you. An atmosphere of threat, fear and resentment is likely to damage every possibility of a pleasant relationship and behavior thereof. Hold them accountable for their actions and teach them life-coping skills through their own mistakes.

Make efforts from your end to foster a pleasurable relationship with your teen. This will benefit you and your ward and everyone around you. Even if you don't believe this will help, just take the leap of faith and try. You will not be disappointed. Don't give up.

TEEN BEHAVIOR - Google News
TEEN BEHAVIOR - Google News

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